Bombay

I had a few days to take off at the end of the year and had looked into several travel options and after all that research, I finally decided that in light of the economic situation of the country, I would not travel anywhere and save my money. Instead I signed up for a 10 day meditation course and contemplate life (or the economy, I have lately started meditating and am loving the little I am able to accomplish by way of quality meditation). And then 26/11 happened in Bombay. It was very disconcerting and I decided on an impulse that I would use that time go to Bombay instead and see my family. Pictures are here.

I didn’t have my travel papers ready and my friends assured me I would never get a good deal on tickets to travel in the peak month of the year. Anyway, que sera sera, one Monday I had everything ready and was all set to travel the following Monday for a week long trip. My siblings wondered why I was coming for so short a trip and why couldn’t I extend it since it’s the holidays in the US and all that. I told them it’s either a week or nothing. They took the week.

As I landed in Bombay, I noticed that I had taken off and landed in 30 deg temperature, the difference was in the metric (F and C). As soon as I stepped out of the aircraft I knew I was in Bombay, the sticky humidity, the warmth, the dust as we drove out of a makeshift parking lot. I felt it instantly in my skin, hair, eyes and throat. Airport security was no greater than before, I cleared customs very quickly and met my brother Bobby and sister in law Charandeep outside (they are renovating all major airports in India, Bombay still has some ways to go before they are finished).

As we drove home (very short drive from the international airport), the signs of growth were everywhere, there is a metro train system being built on the main road. I lived in that neighborhood for 11 yrs and used to take the bus to the main train station. Now people will take the train directly from the main road (Andheri Kurla road), how cool! They widened the roads significantly and in the process demolished a lot of illegal but well built structures: stores, restaurants, hotels and all. I had not idea they were all illegal, I guess a lot of people lost a major part of their livelihood.

I slept for a few hours and woke up when it seemed like all the alarms in the world had gone off at the same time. Turns out my bro sets the alarm in about 3 cell phones, you know, primary, secondary and tertiary. Leave nothing to chance. I made some tea and sat in the newly built platform by the window and tried to remember my teen years in that exact same flat as I saw people leaving for work/college etc.. on the street. Breakfast was something heavy (most meals in India are too heavy for me, but saying no is almost never an option, providing and consuming food is the primary method of expressing and receiving affection, its is also a primary form of having a good time as per my brother. He says whenever people ask him how an event or a holiday was, his best reply is “oh it was a lot of fun, we had a blast, ate a lot of good food”, he says this in Punjabi and it sounds far funnier.)

Before I left for Bombay, I saw the film Slumdog Millionaire and there are some cool scenes shot in VT station with trains in the background. I had this urge to travel by local train somewhere, anywhere in Bombay. So my sis-in-law and I took the train to go to downtown to look for this store where I had bought ethnic stuff for the home years ago. I vaguely remembered the store name as Bombay Cottage or something in Churchgate. We went to Bombay Store (near Kala Ghoda) and Bombay Cottage Industries near Gateway of India (gateway is where the terrorists landed). They were both great stores, but not the one I remember. I still don’t know what store that was, maybe it shut down. The train ride was the highlight of the day, I was super excited, it was a fast train too! My sister in law was not happy about me peaking my head out of the train, but I just couldn’t help it (the trains have open doors on both sides). The polluted air, the sorry sight of rubbish all around the tracks notwithstanding, it was very nostalgic. I even thought of trying my “get on and off while the train is in slow motion on platform” move, but didn’t get a chance, there were women ahead of me getting off at Churchgate. Besides my agility may have rusted since the time I did that routinely in college days (very risky, do not try!).

We ate lunch a Kamat’s, an eatery I used to go to in my college days. They have a small casual dining place with 5 tables and the menu scribbled on a board and a bigger place with AC and a real and much bigger menu. The spring dosa was awesome, one was more than enough for both of us. We also had sabudana wada which they served with lassi as a side which was unusual, besides the wada was not that great. We then went to Café Mondegar for coffee, very popular with tourists, they have cartoons from Mario Miranda all over on the walls.

The next day I visited my sister Jyoti in Bandra, she did the best thing she could have done by moving very close to this shopping place called Elco Arcade. While I don’t care for the shopping much, there is this restaurant (used to be street cart, they have since moved up) that has been selling chaat etc...(misc Indian spicy snacks) since forever and it’s the absolute best in the world. I consider it my solemn duty to eat there every chance I get and it’s the only time my sister won’t insist I eat at home. So I did the right thing and lunched there. Dinner that evening was at Royal China, they have excellent dumplings though their (peking) duck was a little dry. I lunched at Elco again the next day.

Even though lifestyle and habits in Bombay are beginning to mimic US’ lot, some things will always stay unique. The sheer traffic in and out of regular homes, the driver, the maid, this that and the other person! My sister, even as a home maker, has a domestic staff of about 4 odd people. Another typically Indian thing is the sense of obligation that you have to call such and such and visit this cousin and that aunt otherwise they will take offense or feel bad or worse, it would be disrespectful and that is an absolute no-no. I had planned on visiting no relatives at all since it was such a short trip and I wanted to spend QT (quality time) with my family, but an Uncle and Aunt decide to visit me since I wouldn’t visit them. Then my sister guilted me into visiting my maternal aunt (mom’s brother’s wife) and then ofcourse I had to visit this one cousin who had lived close by for years and are senior members of my dad’s family in Bombay and then ofcourse I had to visit this other cousin who visited me this past summer. Visiting is, by the way, at least one meal if not longer. Visiting is also not done alone, it becomes a party with everybody invited (though this time I broke both rules by visiting a cousin for breakfast AND by myself, I am getting bold!). I was calling relatives up until the last minute to explain why I was in town but had not come to see them.

Anyway, all said and done its nice to know that even though I am careless in keeping in touch with many of my relatives, I am very much part of the eco system and am always welcome for some chole/chickpeas, chicken or mutton (sometimes both!), rice, roti, yogurt, atleast one vegetable if not more, dessert, fruit, not to mention appetizers served before all this wholesome goodness. All this followed by tea accompanied by some interesting cookie, snack or nuts that someone brought from someplace special that you must absolutely have a taste of. That's how they get you, “just taste it, just a little” and before you know you are staring at a plateful in front of you wondering how can you either smuggle it into your handbag for later or slip it into the plate of the person next to you before they can react.

The things that are in common with life here? Eating out, shopping (with or without cause or need), increasing out of town travel (business or vacation), rising divorce rate, marrying outside your ethnicity, young couples living away from their parents, brand-obsession, dating, PDA (public display of affection, though it varies by neighborhood), use of american slang by kids, the concept of disposable income, increasing volunteering work by the younger generation.

Another thing I notice is the tolerance and even encouragement given to professional degrees and education in non mainstream professions in my own family. My dad’s side of the house are businessmen going back generations and education beyond bachelor’s was never considered important (except my parent’s family, they were always different, they were the first ones among their family to migrate to Bombay and to support professional education for the us girls). I see the next generation getting into MBAs and marketing and all that. I have a niece who wants to live in Japan and be an anime artist and my sister is not freaking out (she is a little, but not too much)! As a teenager, I remember being asked by relatives from Punjab whether I was going for medical or non medical studies, their world was only those two options!

I spent an afternoon with the youngest 3 of my 8 nieces and nephews (Angad is 10 and was born after I moved out of India, Guntaas and Trisha, both about 13, were very young then), I took them out so we could spend QT and not be distracted by the elders. We went go carting, rock climbing, dashing cars and played some video games. Angad was full of questions about cars (that’s his obsession, that kid knows more about luxury cars than I do!), I also debunked some myths about America he had (are all Americans fat, are all Americans blonde?). Guntaas told me about this school play based on recent terror events that they were participating in, she was playing a hostage and Angad had a few lines about growing up to be a commando or something. Then we went to Pizza hut and pigged out. I am a “cool massi (aunt)” and this afternoon was my investment in maintaining that title.

From there I went to visit another sister Rosy who recently moved to a new flat and did a wonderful job decorating her place with a very India/ethnic theme. I didn’t get to see my oldest sister Asha since she lives a short flight away from Bombay and her kids had exams so she couldn’t get away to come visit me. I didn’t call any of my friends in Bombay since I knew I wouldn’t see them. A friend whom I met on my Egypt tour last December did email me, she and her fiancé (they met on the same Egypt trip, who says you don’t meet people when you travel) are traveling throughout India and Nepal, they were landing in Bombay the day I was taking off. We never connected, which is a shame.

I didn’t notice any lingering shock over the terror attacks though the media was still talking about it. It’s true that Bombayites have a tendency of recovering quickly and moving on with life after any and every major catastrophy, some consider it a sign of callousness or dispassion towards their fellow humans. I think its more a reflection of “you gotta do what you gotta do to survive in this big city” attitude, who can afford to keeping looking in the past? This event did seem to linger a little longer than most others though.

All too soon, it was time to get back home. It was a short but lovely trip, rather therapeutic for me. I wasn’t as whiny of Bombay weather and traffic as I usually am, ofcouse I didn’t go out much and it is winter time after all. But all said and done I am delighted I went!